BusinessLawGuy's Blog

I saw this somewhere in the last few weeks and it rang true to me. The choices we make define us, always. Some may be smaller and some larger, but together they show who you are. Sometimes the choices that seem smaller show more than you think because they are choices you make on a daily basis.

How long do you take to return phone calls or emails? If you’re like me, you receive a large number of calls and emails. It’s easy to tell yourself you will get to them when you get to them. But in my case the calls and emails mainly are from clients, opposing counsel, and potential clients. If I delay responding to clients, how do you think they will feel about it? Maybe they will think they and their issues aren’t a priority compared with other client’s matters. If I delay responding to opposing counsel it delays whatever I’m working on for my client. And clients want matters moving forward toward resolution or completion. If I delay responding to a potential client, I likely will not be retained and they will find another attorney to work with. This is an example of day to day choices you can choose to deal with in a manner that reflects well on you or not.

Of course big decisions are easy to look to because, well, they’re big decisions. I think big decisions rest on the shoulders of the small decisions that lead to the need to make a big decision. By this I mean the daily choices you make define you and will align with the big decisions you make later on because such choices will be seen as being in line with how you consistently act in making any type of decision. In most situations those who really know you would likely guess the decision you would make given the potential choices. This is because your choices define you.

If upon reflection you think you need to make changes to your day to day decisions and how they reflect on you, make a plan. You can change how you do things and the choices you make. It will be hard, but what important choices aren’t.

This sounds so easy, but can be much harder in practice. You know you have said things, likely out loud, when driving and some car cut you off. Maybe you would say it to the person when you end up next to each other at a traffic light or not. People who do are risking their life because they let their emotions get the best of them. Other situations may not have the physical risks of road rage, but they instead have personal and professional risks.

This easily can happen in the workplace, whether with co-workers or, if you deal with them like I do, opposing attorneys. When dealing with a jerk it can be hard to stop yourself from reacting. Before acting on emotion, try to think whether how you really want to respond will (1) benefit you; (2) reflect on you; (3) affect your dealings with the jerk in the future; and, if applicable, help you help your client. If you do this it’s likely you will not be baited to respond in kind. It may even make the jerk realize they’re not getting a rise out of you and they may mellow out then or in future dealings.

Keeping emotions in check can be difficult. If you know it is for you, you should come up with strategies to help you when you find yourself in a situation where being a jerk is an option (which really means in any communication you have with anyone). Examples could include nicely exiting the conversation, taking deep breaths while the other person is speaking (obviously works best if you’re on the phone or dealing with written communications), or come up with a catchphrase or mantra you can tell yourself with the hope to de-escalate the situation or conversation. Maybe you can use “serenity now” like Frank Costanza on Seinfeld:

The point is to not let yourself be drawn into situations that can reflect badly on you, your co-workers, or your client. It may feel good in the moment to yell back or insult someone, but once the moment passes it probably will be something you wish you had handled better.

Monday night I watched the college football National Championship game between Alabama and Georgia. You probably know (or in case you don’t) Georgia won after it looked like their quarterback fumbled away the game with around 11 minutes to go in the game by playing great defense and the quarterback stepping up and seemingly willing his team’s offense to play better. Why am I telling you this? Because after Georgia won, quarterback Stetson Bennett was interviewed and in response to how he lead his team back he said “Just keep fighting. Keep your mouth shut. Work hard. Life is tough, you just have to fight through it.” That’s right, wisdom from the mouth of a 23 year old college quarterback that applies to all of us.

He could have given up after his costly mistake. He let his team down, as well as himself. When the camera showed him you could tell he was upset. But the next time he had the ball in his hands he went 3-3 in passing taking his team 76 yards in 4 plays for a touchdown to retake the lead. Of course football is a team sport and the defense stepped up and did its part too.

Most of us work on teams and know you need all hands on deck to be successful. What if one of your team members isn’t pulling their weight? They could be lazy, still learning, or just out sick. Do you focus on that or do you see the deadline looming and rally the team to stop complaining and get the work done? There are times you just have to fight through the noise and focus with the end in mind.

Maybe your the team member letting others down. Maybe you have something going on in your personal life or are unhappy you were passed over for a promotion given to someone you think didn’t deserve it over you. Whatever is happening, focus and fight your way through. Complaining about anything is noise and distraction, and will never get you your desired result. Passed over for the promotion? Show them why they made a mistake through your actions. It goes further than telling someone they were wrong and will have better results in the future.

We all have moments we can choose to sit down and wait for the next chance or fight, keep our mouth shut, and work hard. It’s obviously better to be recognized as someone who will not give up in the face of adversity. Whoever your work helps will notice, be it co-workers and superiors, clients, or someone else. Doing so may not result in you holding a national championship trophy like Stetson, but odds are you will feel just as good by knowing you gave your all and did the best you can.

I heard someone say this on a podcast and it stuck with me. It is a way to reframe the narrative of change as we enter the new year or at any time. The point is to spend more time looking forward than obsessing on the past.

Did you have a good 2021 professionally? If so, will you keep doing what you did or seek to improve on your success? If not, will you spend time thinking of what could or should have been, or spend more time looking to make 2022 a better year. I’m talking about a mindset, which is in your power and under your control.

This doesn’t mean assessing past success or failure is a waste of time or not helpful. Of course it is. You can learn from either. But once you make assessments, look at how it relates to what you do next instead of dwelling on past achievements or lack thereof. Looking forward keeps your eyes on the path you are taking.

Life is continuing road and narrative. You get to decide whether you’re the narrator or someone else is. If you don’t plan the road ahead of you the future will happen anyway, and it likely will be driven and narrated by others instead of you.

Take control of what is your story. Learn from your successes and failures or observing those of others around you, but know you’re not held hostage by what has happened in the past. You have the choice to make the new year or any time good. It means you have to take action, look forward, and act to make good things happen.

I know, another person telling you to be thankful during the holiday season. Kind of, but not really. You should be thankful for what you have, but year round, not just because it’s this time of year. But that is not what I am talking about.

This time of year and all times of the year are good times to remember to show gratitude. Yes, you should do so year round, but it is better late than never, and should be done in both your professional and personal worlds.

Are you lucky enough to be in a position to have someone clean your home? Some extra money may be sufficient without a card or hand-written note, and arguably will be more appreciated than a gift. Or maybe you had a team member go above and beyond. In that case, a hand-written note and a bottle of wine or gift card to their favorite coffee shop are good options.

But what about the guy or gal who referred you the big lead or client? That’s not a situation where money seems appropriate (think kickbacks!). Here a hand-written note and thoughtful gift is the right idea. If you’re not sure what to get them there are ways to determine their interests though your or their co-workers. It’s also a signal to get to know the people who help you succeed and earn your living better.

So remember to thank people timely and often, and do it throughout the year. If you haven’t lived this way until now, this is a good time of year to start.

And to those of you kind enough to have referred a client to me, provided me with a lead, or trusted me enough to connect me to one of your contacts, thank you!! And who knows, you still may be getting that hand-written note and a gift…

Happy Holidays!

Beginning in 2014, many of you probably read my blog regarding having a checkup for you and, if you have one, your business. This does not involve the doctor, but it does involve all the other professionals in your personal and business life. Based on the positive feedback, I have made this an annual tradition.

Some of you said “What a great idea. I am definitely going to do that.” Others said “Sounds like a good idea, maybe I will look into that.” Another response was “I wish I had thought about this before the end of the year or when certain contracts automatically renewed.

That feedback was based on me usually making this post the week between Christmas and New Year’s, when many people have time and are thinking about actions they want to take going into the next year. This is why I now share this a few weeks prior to the end of the year to give you time to take action and look into possible changes before the end of the year.

I’ll bet in most years the majority of you were busy with or recovering from the holidays and all that they entail, and probably did nothing in response to my push for you to do this type of “annual checkup.” To be honest, this response is okay and ignoring my advice may not have had detrimental effects to you or your business.

The point of the advice is that you only know what you know. If you do not check in with your professionals and, for example, make sure contracts or your estate plan remain enforceable and up-to-date, that is where risk comes in. For example, I always check in with my accountant at the end of the year to ensure that all is right with taxes and withholding because I don’t want a big surprise I owe more money.

A few years ago I had a reminder related to a different item you should check on annually, auto insurance. We had two teenagers on our policy and a number of vehicles, and the premiums always seemed so high to me. But my insurance person knows me and shops the policy every year looking for the best rates rates for policies with similar coverage from quality insurers. He did that for me and we ended up with a new insurer, with pretty significant savings.

With the time constraints of life, it’s sometimes hard for me to move beyond the higher-level checkup, but when I do I usually end up with some benefit. Unfortunately, in our time-crunched world, the question of who to check in with at year end is expansive, from your estate planning attorney, to your investment person, to your insurance person, to vendors you may use such as a yard or pool maintenance company, or your cell phone carrier or your Internet provider. You may be surprised what a company will do in lowering monthly costs to satisfy or keep a current or longtime customer. Try it and see what happens. A good one to start with is your cable or satellite television provider (assuming you haven’t cut the cable).

I know, I know, who has the time? None of us do, which is why the choices are yours. Are your contracts up to date? Did you pay enough estimated taxes or withholding? Are you paying too much for the cleaning service at your office or your lawn service for your home ? The choice of what professionals to consult, what costs to check or compare, and what services to put out to bid is yours. Choose wisely.

And for those of you seeking a reminder or who did not see it in years past, here is my original blog post on getting an annual checkup:

The end of the year is always a good time to take stock of where you are personally and professionally. This can be checking in with your personal accountant to make sure you have withheld/paid enough taxes during the year or planning for deductions to planning for large corporate expenditures on things such as upcoming projects, planned corporate initiatives or planned equipment purchases. But the one thing that is a constant is that we all should be doing this.

In the past I have mentioned why it is good to sit down with various professionals you or your company work with just to check-in, be they attorneys, accountants, insurance professionals, financial planners, investment professionals, etc. The list depends on you and your business.

This does not have to be a formal appointment unless you think that is appropriate depending on the nature of the planned conversation. Instead, it can be you offering to buy them lunch or a drink. The point is the better the professionals you work with know you, the more they are able to make recommendations aimed to benefit you or your company.

So don’t wait, start making plans today to meet with these people this year, or at least first thing next year. We all are busy this time of year, but if you take these actions it will help you now and in the future.

Communication is a singular important matter in all interactions between people. But most people don’t focus in a manner befitting this importance. Communication does not always happen in a way leading to understanding on the same level between the participants in the conversation. This is high-lighted by a quote that I like:

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place – George Bernard Shaw

Do the people you communicate with understand what you are trying to convey? If you think so, how do you know? Odds are the communications are not as clear as you think.

That is because it takes more than just you speaking. It also takes the other person listening fully. And it takes the other person not only understanding what you said, but what you were trying to convey.

Think about yourself. When someone is speaking with you, are you listening or thinking about what you are going to say next. If you are thinking about what to say next, you are not listening fully. If so, it is likely you will miss something the other person wants you to know and understand.

Listening fully is challenging whether in person or on the phone. In person you may be able to tell someone is not understanding or listening to you based on their responses (or lack of responses) and body language. How can you tell on the phone? Maybe by the response or the delay in the response. Or do you hear typing or mouse clicks, signaling the person on the other end of the line is focused on something on their computer and not what you’re saying.

Actual communication where both people listen and understand each other is exception, not the rule. This is true in business and at home. You can ask questions to make sure the other person understands what you are saying. Or at home, you can ask your child to stop texting while the two of you talk. Then take the time to look at how you listen in live conversations or over the phone to make sure you are not missing anything.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving nearing the end of another odd year. In thinking about writing about being thankful or gratitude, I thought back to posts from the last few Novembers. I can’t say it better, so here is my annual blog for the week of Thanksgiving.

This is a good time of year to think of gratitude generally and what you’re thankful for specifically. At the same time, it’s a great time of year to spread good feelings, which you can do by letting others know when you appreciate something they have done for you. In the time of the pandemic it may mean a phone call, email or text, but it’s import to take the time to reach out, thereby investing in your relationships.

Those of you who have younger children (or older ones…) know you end up reminding them to say “thank you” all of the time. That is because thanking someone or showing gratitude is a learned behavior. If it came naturally or from observing others we wouldn’t have to teach children to do so.

Hopefully you remember to thank people as appropriate in your daily life. In a usual year, this may be thanking someone holding the door for me when I get to my office, for holding the elevator for me, or for making a pot of hot water so I can have tea and get that needed caffeine injection upon arriving for work. In this year, it includes thanking people on my team for coordinating between those working in the office and at home to complete tasks needed to serve my clients’ interests. Many of these situations are universal to all of us, but I am sure we all remember holding a door for someone and they walk through without saying anything.

Of course, if you go through your day looking for when people should be thanking you, you likely will be disappointed. Instead, I think about how I want to come across to others, as well as ways I don’t want to come across to others.

We all have bad days, but most days we should recognize when thanking someone is proper and appropriate. This time of year is a reminder to says things you may usually only think to yourself. Positive feedback is energizing, and hopefully the person you provide it to pays it forward. Plus, it has the added bonus of making you or the other person feel good, making it a great way to go through life.

Who you associate with is important in business and in life. You should surround yourself with people who add value. In business it may be a mentor or connector. In your personal life it may just be someone who makes you laugh. Never underestimate the value of humor and laughter.

The saying “everything is who you know” exists for a reason. In the context of business, this makes a difference.

I used to grab lunch or coffee with anyone who asked or was connected with me. Over time, I came to value my time enough to think about who I was meeting with and whether they added value. Of course some people did and some people didn’t. I actually kept some of the people who didn’t add value to me professionally because I decided they added value in other ways. They may have been someone who makes me laugh or with whom I really enjoy our conversations. By making these decisions I was being honest with myself about the company I was keeping, why I shared their company, and the value proposition.

Making these assessments was a valuable exercise. By thinning my “regular” contacts I spent time on in relation to my business, it freed me up to be connected with and meet new people. The new people then went into my continuing analysis of whether they added value. Sometimes it took more than one lunch or meeting to make this determination. Once I did, they were on or off my list. Over time, some people who I took off of my list made it back on for various reasons, all of which had to do with the value proposition. This happened because most things aren’t static and someone can go from not adding value to adding value or vise versa, so be open to reassessing whether someone should be in your circle.

I’m speaking to the company you keep in the business context because this is a business blog. The same rules apply in your personal life. Whether they apply with family I leave to you, but your choices to maintain relationships or not belongs to you alone. As we head into the holiday season, it’s a good time to assess the company you keep. It may cause you to rethink some connections and relationships, but it also will remind you of the wealth you have based on the people you surround yourself with, which is something to be thankful for.

There are many facets to success. The road is different depending on your profession, but in all situations it involves opportunity and preparation, as well as timing and hard work. The preparation and hard work count as investing in yourself and your future.

Preparation makes the hard work look easier to those on the outside. It’s the investment in yourself. Sometimes you can wing it, but most times you aren’t fully prepared, someone who matters will know. Preparation may be easy, which is always nice. But other times it’s hard and trying. In all situations it’s imperative to do so and enable yourself to do your best.

The hard work you put in helps create the opportunities you need along the road to success. It could be your boss noticing the hard work and giving you more opportunities or a promotion. Or maybe it’s your client or customer recognizing your efforts and directing you more business or connecting you with other opportunities for business. The point is people recognize when people are putting in time and effort, especially when it is bringing results.

This happens for me where my work for clients has resulted in the referrals of their friends, family and peers. It is a great complement when someone sees your hard work and trusts you enough to make such a referral. People don’t want to refer their friends and family to others unless they think the person can assist and will put in the time to do so, because referrals reflect on the person doing the referring. You want to be the person they trust to help people they care about.

The road to success is littered with potholes of all shapes and sizes. You will not be able to avoid them all, but the ones you hit provide lessons so that you can avoid bigger ones in the future. By continuing down the road of hard work and preparation, you will create opportunity and put yourself in the best position to achieve your version of success.