Be slow to judge people, and quick to help them

I recently read this good piece of advice. It’s easy to jump to conclusions or make judgments about people without knowing all the facts. Making assumptions isn’t a good idea, as pointed out to all in the old movies and television shows: https://youtu.be/svkgOsr7pUc.

It’s generally a good idea to be slow to judge others because jumping to conclusions about someone’s character or motivations based on limited information or how they look can lead to misunderstandings, may cause harm, and may cause you to lose opportunities. It’s important to give people the benefit of the doubt, get to know them, or give them a chance to explain themselves before making judgments about them. Additionally, being slow to judge allows you to get to know someone better and to see them in different contexts, which can give you a more nuanced and accurate understanding of who they are. It can also help to foster more positive relationships with others, as people are often more open and willing to share with those who are not quick to judge and instead take time to get to know them better, as well as their motivations, intentions, and interests.

On the other hand, it’s good to be is quick to help others. There are several reasons why. Helping others can be personally rewarding and can strengthen relationships. When you help others, you often feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that comes from knowing that you’ve made a difference in someone’s life.

Being quick to help often helps build stronger and more positive relationships with them. This is because people often feel a sense of gratitude and appreciation towards those who have helped them, which can foster feelings of connection and mutual support. It also can be good for you and your mental health because helping others can reduce stress, increase happiness, and improve overall well-being. Think about how you feel after volunteering. The same good feeling comes from helping others in any context.

By taking the time to understand someone’s situation, let alone if you help them, you can create the opportunity for positive and meaningful connections with others. It’s also important to be mindful of your own biases and try to approach situations with an open mind and a willingness to listen and help. By doing so you can create a broader network involving better and deeper connections you may otherwise have missed. And, you will feel good doing so.

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Endless curiosity will take you far

Curiosity is an essential human trait that drives us to learn new things, explore the world around us, and seek out new experiences. Being curious and having a desire to learn makes life more interesting and can help you to go far in life. Curiosity drives us to ask questions and seek out new information, which can lead to new insights and understanding. It can also help you to stay engaged and motivated, and can lead to new opportunities and experiences. Encouraging a sense of curiosity in yourself and others can be a great way to foster a love of learning and a desire to continue growing and improving.

When you’re curious, you’re motivated to seek out information and knowledge, which can lead to new insights, understanding, and personal growth. Curiosity also helps you to be more open-minded and receptive to new ideas, which can lead to creative thinking and problem-solving. Additionally, it can add a sense of adventure and excitement to your life. It can also help you form new connections and relationships with others who share similar interests.

Many of use creative thinking and problem-solving in our work. Every deal or dispute my clients are involved in requires me to use these skills. In law, curiosity is about understanding what happened that brought my client to me, what needs to happen to place my client in the best possible position, and then working to achieve a positive result. Of course my opposing counsel is doing the same thing and the playing field is always changing. That makes it interesting and challenging, and keeps me engaged.

Curiosity also helps you to better understand yourself and the world you live in. This can lead to the development of new ideas and goals, which fosters personal or professional growth and helps you to stay engaged and motivated. This can lead to increased happiness and satisfaction with life, and who doesn’t want that?

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Write it down if you want to remember it

I think I have a pretty good memory. If I dial your phone number few times I will likely remember it. I remember many stories and random details people tell me. But I can’t remember everything I want or need to, and neither can you. For this reason I regularly write things down, makes notes in my phone, or email myself. I try to do something to make sure I remember things so they don’t slip through the cracks.

You can put in systems that work for you to help you remember things. I have emailed myself while hiking many times on to dos, ideas on matters I am working on, or even ideas for this blog. Sometimes when I am out there, even though I likely am listening to music or a podcast, something comes into my head or I have the space to think something through, and then I don’t want to forget. The little computers we all have in our pockets, purses, or backpacks sure come in handy for this. Taking advantage of the resources at hand to help you remember makes things easier. When I am at home or at my office, I may use post-it notes or a piece of paper.

One thing that works for me is keeping a single calendar for professional and personal meetings, deadlines, and obligations. Another is keeping a to do list for all the matters I am working on and for items I want to complete in my personal life. When things fall through the cracks it really is because I didn’t keep up with a to do list or calendar something in the moment. Sometimes I feel to busy to do so, but I know if I don’t I may miss things by mistake. I try to avoid this, but it does happen occasionally.

Think about what you do to remember things and see how you can improve on it to make things easier on yourself. In the long run it will save you time, prevent missing something you need to complete, and avoid spending your time apologizing for not getting something done. Figure out what works for you and invest time in yourself to stay on top of your life.

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You either win or learn

After losing the Super Bowl last Sunday, Philadelphia Eagles’ quarterback Jalen Hurts responded to a media question about the loss by saying “you either win or you learn.” This response applies to losing or failing in any line of work. It also applies to winning or succeeding in that you learn from that too. It’s just that you learn more from failure. As an Eagles fan I am glad to hear he plans to learn from losing and coming so close to winning the biggest game in his profession.

I do not remember if I previously heard the term “you either win or learn,” but I will be using it moving forward in the mentoring and coaching I do. It highlights the importance of learning from every experience, whether positive or negative, and using that knowledge to grow and improve. The idea is that even when we fail, we can gain valuable insights that can help us succeed in the future. By approaching life with this mindset, we can become more resilient and better equipped to handle challenges.

In the world of sports, and as used by Jalen Hurts, the phrase has become a common phrase used to encourage athletes to view losses as opportunities for growth. Instead of dwelling on a defeat, athletes are encouraged to reflect on what went wrong, identify areas for improvement, and use that knowledge to get better. This mentality helps athletes develop essential life skills, such as perseverance and problem-solving.

In business, the phrase is an important concept for entrepreneurs and business leaders to keep in mind. Starting a business comes with its fair share of challenges and setbacks. However, successful entrepreneurs recognize that these experiences are opportunities for learning and growth. By reflecting on their failures and using that knowledge to make better decisions in the future, entrepreneurs can build stronger businesses and increase their chances of success.

“You either win or learn” can be applied to our personal lives as well. Life is full of ups and downs, and we all face challenges and setbacks. However, by approaching these experiences as opportunities for growth, each of us can become more resilient and better equipped to handle whatever life throws our way. By learning from our mistakes and failures, we can improve ourselves and become better versions of ourselves. It’s a powerful tool for personal growth and development.

The next time you lose or fail keep this saying in mind. Hopefully your loss won’t be as big as losing the Super Bowl, but even if it is, learn from it and be ready to take on a new day!

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Determine your direction and then take massive action

Setting goals and taking action are important because they help you focus on what you want to achieve and give you a sense of purpose. When you have a clear goal in mind, you are more likely to stay motivated and work towards it. Especially if you write it down and tell other people you trust. Once you do this you need to go all in and put your thoughts and ideas into action.

It’s important to have a clear sense of your goals. By writing them down or discussing them with others you can hone the a goal and the steps it will take to reach it. Not thinking through a goal will either result in you not reaching the goal or maybe focusing on the wrong goal or steps. Thinking through things will allow you to find the essence of what matters to you and where you want to be. Once you have fully thought through a goal, the next thing to do is to take the first step you outlined for yourself.

Taking action, or making progress towards your goal, helps you to see that you are moving forward and can give you a sense of whether your goal is the right one or reachable. It also helps you build momentum and makes it easier to continue working towards your goal. This puts you on a positive course even if it is changing your goal or the steps you think are necessary to reach the goal.

All of this being said, it’s important to have a clear sense of your goals and regularly reassess your goals. Having a direction or a sense of purpose helps focus your efforts and motivation. Taking massive action means being proactive and putting in the effort to make things happen, rather than waiting for opportunities to come to you. It also means you are willing to take risks and step out of your comfort zone in order to make progress, both of which matter and help on the path to success.

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Make the day; don’t let the day make you

I am speaking about controlling your schedule in an affirmative manner and not just being reactive all day long. There are many ways to do this, some of which I have written about before, which means the first step is to figure out what works best for you to manage your calendar and time each day. Then make sure to put it into play to stay in control of your time. It will help you avoid getting to the end of your day and wondering where the time went and why you didn’t get everything done you planned to.

I run my own calendar, but I know many people who have assistants do it for them. Either way is the right way depending on what works for you. For me, I like deciding when to schedule meetings or calls so I also can leave time to check and respond to emails or to work on specific projects. This works well for me but I know the tradeoff is the time I spend scheduling for myself. I find that time is investing in something that works for me.

You need to find your system and know it always can be tweaked or changed if you think something different may work better. The result of not doing this is watching days get away from you. This will result in you accomplishing less while not being in control of your time.

We all know it doesn’t feel good not being able to connect in person, video, or phone with that person you really needed to speak with. Whether speaking with someone or a project you want to get done, scheduling can help you accomplish it. If it’s connecting with someone, be intentional and contact them to set a time when you will have the time you need to cover what you need to. Even if they won’t give you the time you think you need, take the opportunity and see where you get to.

Look at your calendar for the rest of the week and see what you can do to take control and get done what you want and need to before the week ends. If that works you can try to plan out the next week, or longer. It will feel good and you may well start timely getting things accomplished when you want to instead of whenever they otherwise may be completed. Stop leaving things to chance by taking control of your time and therefore your days.

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Build identity capital

When you go through an interview or meet someone, is there something about you or you have done that people will remember? I recently read something that suggested younger adults do at least three fascinating things in their 20s that job interviewers or dinner companions will want to ask about for the rest of their lives. I know, what does that mean? Think about it and it makes sense though. Having a positive story (or three) that people are interested in and remember will help you build your network and be memorable because people will talk or hear about you and your fascinating stories.

I thought about this in relation to myself and others I know. I believe everyone has an interesting backstory if you ask the right questions. At the same time you have to understand that what may be interesting to you may not be interesting to someone else. Though there are many things that are easy to remember and spawn lots of questions.

For instance, I know a woman who saved money in her 20s and traveled the world for a year. She used to send update emails every week or so and it was like reading an amazing travelogue from my office. It seemed to adventurous compared to going to work every day. She has amazing stories. I know someone else who has summited Mount Everest and climbed other dangerous mountains such as K2 around the world. He has amazing stories. And another person I know followed the Grateful Dead selling sandwiches to survive. All of them have amazing stories to share.

Not everything has to be so big or crazy like those examples. Maybe you have some amazing story about playing in a band with someone who went on the conquer the music world, or you worked at an interesting startup (whether or not it became a household name). Maybe you played collegiate sports or had a strange and interesting job in high school or after. Travel may be easier such as trying to get to all 50 states or learning about wine in Southern France or how to cook in Italy. The ideas are endless, but you get the idea.

By the way, those of us older than our 20s can do things now people will ask us about for the rest of our lives too. The adventure level depends on you, but all of us should test our limits within reason and do fascinating and amazing this.

If you did fascinating things in your 20s (or after) shoot me an email or message and tell me about it. I want to know because I am sure I will want to ask you about it when we meet, the next time we see each other, or when we speak.

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Deliberate planning matters

Deliberate planning is important for a number of reasons and is important to think about at this time of year. It helps you to set goals and create a roadmap for achieving them. It also helps you to anticipate potential challenges and come up with strategies for dealing with them. Deliberate planning can also help you to use your resources more efficiently, both in terms of time and money.

Step one in deliberate planning is setting goals and creating a roadmap to reach them. This is important because:

  1. Goals provide focus and direction. By setting clear, specific goals, you can give yourself a sense of purpose and direction. This can help you stay motivated and focused, and make it easier to prioritize your tasks and activities.
  2. Goals help you track progress. By setting goals and periodically reviewing your progress, you can see how far you’ve come and how much closer you are to achieving your objectives. This can be a great source of motivation and encouragement.
  3. Goals can help you stay motivated. Having a roadmap and clear goals can help you stay motivated and focused, especially when you’re facing challenges or setbacks.
  4. Goals can help you make better decisions. When you have a clear understanding of your goals, it can be easier to make decisions about how to allocate your time and resources.
  5. Goals can help you achieve your long-term vision. By setting goals and working towards them, you can move closer to achieving your long-term vision and dreams. This can help you create a sense of meaning and purpose in your life.

Setting goals and creating a roadmap is a powerful tool for helping you stay organized, motivated, and focused as you work towards achieving your objectives.

Step two in deliberate planning is anticipating challenges and coming up with strategies for dealing with them. Some steps you can take to do so include:

  1. Identify your goals. Start by clearly identifying your goals. This will help you to understand what you are trying to achieve, and what potential challenges you may face.
  2. Analyze the potential challenges. Next, think about the potential challenges that you may face in achieving your goals. What could go wrong? What are the risks and uncertainties?
  3. Come up with strategies. Once you have identified the potential challenges, start brainstorming strategies for dealing with them. Consider both proactive measures you can take to prevent problems from occurring, as well as contingency plans for when things don’t go as planned.
  4. Prioritize and plan. Prioritize the strategies you have come up with, and create a plan for implementing them. Consider the resources you will need, and make sure you have a clear timeline for executing your plan.
  5. Monitor and adjust. As you work towards your goals, be sure to monitor progress and adjust your strategies as needed. It is likely that you will encounter unexpected challenges along the way, and being flexible and open to adjusting your approach will help you to overcome them.

By anticipating potential challenges to your goals and strategizing to lessen or avoid the challenges you will give yourself a better chance for success.

It’s obvious that resources such as time and money may be scarce and negatively affect your ability to put your plan into action. There are no easy answers because you cannot simply create more of either. Despite this, there are things you can focus on to more efficiently work on your goals:

  1. Make a plan. Clearly define your goals and create a plan for how you will achieve them. This will help you focus your efforts and use your time and resources more effectively.
  2. Set priorities. Determine what is most important and focus on those tasks first. This will help you avoid wasting time and resources on less important tasks.
  3. Use tools and technology. There are many tools and technologies available that can help you manage your time and resources more efficiently. For example, you can use project management software to track your progress and stay organized, or use online tools to automate tasks.
  4. Delegate tasks. If you have the resources, consider delegating tasks to others. This can help you free up time and focus on the tasks that are most important to you.
  5. Avoid unnecessary expenses. Be mindful of your spending and try to eliminate unnecessary expenses. This will help you save money and redirect those resources towards your goals.
  6. Stay organized. Stay organized and keep your workspace clean and clutter-free. This will help you work more efficiently and save time and resources.

These types of ideas can assist you in dealing with scarce resources. You may not move forward as fast as you hope or want, but, when resources such as time and money are in short supply, the timeline is under your control and the important thing is to keep moving forward.

Remember that what you’re doing is investing in yourself. By taking the time to deliberately plan out your actions in this manner you can increase your chances of success and make the most of your opportunities. At the same time, it’s important to also be flexible and open to adapting your plans as needed, as things may not always go exactly as you expect.

The most important thing is to take the first step towards where you want to go. Start now.

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Presence is a skill we all need to practice

Presence refers to the state of being aware and engaged in the present moment. It is the opposite of being distracted. Being present can be difficult, especially in today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world where we are constantly bombarded with distractions.

Practicing presence can be beneficial in a number of ways. It can help you to:

  • Be more mindful and aware of your surroundings and experiences
  • Improve your ability to focus and concentrate
  • Enhance your communication and relationships with others
  • Reduce stress and increase feelings of calm and well-being

I have to work hard on being present at times. My mind drifts at times and I have to work on focus. This includes fully listening to people on calls or during meetings, whether with a client or opposing counsel. Over time I have come up with tools that work for me, but it’s a continuing practice everyday.

There are many ways to practice presence, including:

  • Meditation or mindfulness practices
  • Engaging in activities that require focus and attention, such as hobbies or sports
  • Paying attention to your breath or using other techniques to bring your attention back to the present moment when it wanders
  • Setting aside time to disconnect from technology and other distractions

I use all of these to stay centered and focused. It’s not easy to meditate, but can be over time with practice. The more I use these types of tools and practices, the more I am able to be present without thinking about it. The time can be hard to carve out of a busy schedule, but it’s an investment in yourself.

It takes time and effort to cultivate presence, but with practice, it can become a natural and valuable skill that can improve many aspects of your life.

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End the year well

Ending the year well can mean different things to different people. For some, it might mean achieving a personal goal or completing a major project. For others, it might mean spending time with loved ones or taking some time to rest and recharge.

Regardless of what it means to you, there are some general tips that can help you end the year on a positive note:

  1. Reflect on the year. Take some time to think about the highlights and lowlights of the year, and what you learned from them. This can help you gain perspective and move forward with a clearer understanding of what you want to accomplish.
  2. Set goals for the new year. It can be helpful to set some specific goals for the new year, whether they are personal or professional. This can give you something to work towards and help you stay motivated.
  3. Prioritize self-care. The end of the year can be a busy and stressful time, so make sure to take care of yourself. This might mean getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, or doing something else that brings you joy and relaxation.
  4. Spend time with loved ones. The end of the year is a great time to reconnect with friends and family. Plan a special outing or gathering, or simply spend some quality time together. This can help you feel supported and loved, and can also provide a much-needed distraction from the hustle and bustle of the season.
  5. Give back. The end of the year is also a time when many people are in need. Consider volunteering your time or donating to a charitable cause. This can be a fulfilling way to make a positive impact and can also help you feel grateful for what you have.

Overall, ending the year well is about finding balance and taking care of yourself and others. By setting goals, prioritizing self-care, spending time with loved ones, and giving back, you can end the year feeling fulfilled and ready to tackle the new year ahead.

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