BusinessLawGuy's Blog

Nobody puts “number of good friends” on a balance sheet, but maybe they should. Over a career and a lifetime, the relationships you build and protect turn out to matter most in life. I have seen people reach extraordinary professional heights only to look around and realize they did it largely alone and that the summit wasn’t nearly as satisfying as they imagined it would be. The people who seem genuinely fulfilled, not just accomplished, are almost always surrounded by real friendships built over time, through shared experience, honesty, and a mutual commitment to showing up. These types of friendships bring meaning to life.

Sometimes things get in the way of those friendships such as our unwillingness to let things go. Grudges feel powerful when you’re holding them, but the reality is that they cost you far more than they cost the person you’re directing them at. While you are replaying the offense, nursing the resentment, and spending your emotional energy on something you can’t change, the other person is out dancing. They have moved on. You’re the only one still standing in that moment, and it isn’t serving you. The high road is the smarter strategic choice. Be the one who’s dancing.

Letting go of resentment is only half of it. The other half is actively wanting good things for the people you love. Genuine friendship means their wins feel like your wins, and you root for them without reservation. That is harder than it sounds, especially in competitive professional environments where comparison is constant and the temptation to measure yourself against your peers is real. But the professionals and people I most admire have figured out that someone else’s success doesn’t diminish theirs. When you truly care for a friend, a colleague, or a family member, you want the best for them, full stop, with no asterisks attached.

The practical takeaway here is simple even if the execution requires discipline: invest in your friendships the way you invest in anything else that matters. Show up. Be honest. Forgive faster than feels comfortable. Celebrate the people around you loudly and without hesitation. The career achievements are meaningful, but the relationships are what give them context and make them worth having. Long after the deals are done and the titles have changed, what you will remember and what people will say about you is how you made them feel and whether you were truly in their corner. Build that kind of wealth, and you will never be poor.

In a recent conversation I had with a longtime friend and client I learned that despite him being in a successful business built through hard work over time, he is restless and wants to make a change, but is scared to do so. I believe that lifetime learning and being open to change is important for all of us. Learning and change are possible at any point in time if you’re willing to take on a new challenge no matter your age, experience level, or how entrenched you are in your current role.

Most professionals spend their careers accumulating expertise in one area, building a reputation, developing relationships and systems that work. Then, at some point, they get restless. They realize that the path they’ve been on isn’t the one they want to finish on. And the first thought that shows up is usually some version of “I’d be crazy to give up what I have” or “I’m too old to start over now or learn something new.” That thought is a lie that keeps talented people of all ages trapped in situations that don’t serve them anymore.

The power of reinvention comes from understanding what actually matters in professional success. It’s skills you develop over time, which you can bring to whatever you want to learn or want to build or do next.

And it doesn’t have to be a new business or profession. When I think of this type of change a person I worked with years ago at a different law firm comes to mind.

When I was a young attorney I worked with an attorney who practiced business law and was very successful. Through getting to know him I learned he had been a successful and well respected litigator. But the stress he felt in that role caused him to consider leaving the legal professional. He ultimately decided he wanted to continue to practice law, just in another practice area. With the support of his partners he was able to spend time learning a new area of law and shift his practice. He went on to successfully practice in that area for years and retire from that same firm.

The biggest barrier to reinvention is the self-limiting beliefs we construct about what’s possible or appropriate at different stages or our career or life. We tell ourselves stories about being too old, too established, too financially committed, or too risk-averse to try something new. These stories feel like facts, but they’re just narratives we’ve accepted without scrutiny.

Every meaningful change involves uncertainty and discomfort regardless of when you attempt it. Fear is part of the process, not evidence that you shouldn’t proceed.

Lifelong learning is the difference between professionals who stay relevant and engaged versus those who become obsolete. The world changes whether you participate in that change or not. It’s choosing to stay in the game rather than coast to the finish line, realizing that growth and contribution don’t have expiration dates. So if you’re sitting there thinking about a change but telling yourself you can’t or shouldn’t, stop. You’re just scared, and that’s fine. Do it anyway.

Too many people obsess over their salary, bonus, or job title, or for their business revenue numbers and targets. They’re staring at the scoreboard instead of watching the game being played right in front of them. The football coach Bill Walsh said that “the score takes care of itself” and it’s a fundamental truth about how sustainable success actually works in business and in life.

Walsh understood what most people miss, which is that outcomes are the downstream product of hard work. As you build your business, if you focus in the moment, execution will become your default setting. and you’ll have created an environment where success is possible. It means you need to work with your team, caring about how they communicate, how they prepare for meetings, how they handle setbacks, and how they show up when nobody’s watching. These aren’t the big dramatic moments but daily decisions and actions that separate individuals and organizations on the road to something bigger.

What hurts most professionals and businesses is an accumulation of sloppy execution, shortcuts, and a tolerance for mediocrity in the name of moving fast. The irony is that obsessing over the score actually makes you less likely to achieve it because you’re optimizing for the wrong thing. You start making decisions based on what moves the needle now rather than what builds into the future. Instead, reinforce behaviors and systems that generate sustainable performance.

The businesses and professionals that sustain long-term success are all meticulous about process and relentless about maintaining standards even when it would be easier to let things slide. When you stop chasing the score and start building the systems that focus on excellence, something interesting happens-the score shows up anyway. But then it keeps showing up because you’ve built something that doesn’t depend on heroics or luck to function. That’s not just better business, it’s a better way to live.

Every year, countless professionals reach a fork in the road where they have to decide whether to take on something difficult or play it safe. The ones who consistently choose the hard path are the ones who build careers worth having. I’m not talking about being reckless or taking on every impossible task that comes your way. I’m talking about that moment when a challenge presents itself and your gut tells you it’s going to be difficult, uncomfortable, and risky, but also that it might be exactly what you need to do. That’s when you lean in rather than retreat.

The truth is that challenges are hard. They’re supposed to be. Professional challenges test everything you think you know about your capabilities, your judgment, and your ability to perform under pressure. They expose weaknesses you didn’t know you had and force you to develop strengths you never thought you’d need. But as hard as challenges are, failure or lack of success stemming from avoiding them is far worse. You can recover from trying and failing. No one wants to look back knowing they never really tried.

The way you face challenges speaks volumes about who you are and fundamentally shapes your trajectory for success. This is not motivational or philosophical, but practical. When you consistently step up to difficult situations, people notice and remember. Your reputation gets built one challenge at a time, and each time you show up and do the work, even when it’s hard, you’re sending a signal about your character and your capabilities.

On the other hand, the person who avoids difficult situations, who delegates all the hard conversations, who finds reasons not to take on the complex project, that person might have a perfectly fine career. But in the long run they’ll never build the kind of trust and respect that opens the biggest doors – the doors to opportunity and success on a higher level. There is nothing wrong with choosing either path but understand you have the ability to choose.

Your relationship with challenges is ultimately your relationship with your own potential. Every time you back down from something difficult, you’re telling yourself a story about your limitations, and if you tell yourself that story enough times, you start to believe it. But when you face challenges despite the discomfort, despite the uncertainty, despite the very real possibility of failure, you’re building the knowledge that you can handle what comes next, that you have the capacity to meet difficulty and move through it anyway. The challenges you face and how you choose to face them don’t just predict your chances for success, they create them.

Look, I get it. January rolls around and suddenly everyone’s a different person (or wants to be). You’re going to connect with all those contacts you always say you will, finally get organized personally and professionally, and go to the gym five days a week – and this time it’s all going to stick. The problem is that by February, maybe March if you’re stubborn, you’re right back where you started, on the same treadmill of life and nothing has really changed. The issue is that a New Year’s resolution and actual sustainable change are two completely different things.

A resolution is theater. It’s you announcing to yourself and maybe to others that you’re suddenly going to behave differently, as if the calendar flipping to January grants you superpowers you didn’t have in December. There is motivation that shows up when you’re excited and inspired but it seldom seems to last. Sustaining change is hard, which is why instituting change in your life any day of the year is a good but challenging step to take.

Sustainable change works differently because it acknowledges that you’re the same person with the same constraints, tendencies, and limitations you had before the new year started. Real change happens when you engineer your environment and habits to make the desired behavior easier. It’s not about wanting something more or trying harder. It’s about removing friction from what you want to do and adding friction to what you want to stop doing. This isn’t easy but nothing worthwhile is.

The difference between resolution and reality comes down to systems versus intentions. A resolution is the intention to be better, but an intention without a system is just a wish. Sustainable change means building a system that makes the behavior automatic or at least significantly easier to maintain when motivation inevitably disappears.

If you’re serious about setting new goals and having the best chance to achieve the, I suggest you create SMART Goals (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART_criteria). By doing so, the behavior you want to create or avoid will become part of your day, life, routine, rather than something you have to remember to do. Structure survives when motivation fails if you commit to following through. That’s how you actually change, and that’s how change lasts beyond the first few weeks of the year.

This goes for all personal and professional relationships in your life. I heard a woman on a podcast say this, and it struck me. She was speaking about meeting her husband and when things clicked versus when they first met years prior. She could’ve been telling a story about meeting someone who helped her professionally. We’ve all met someone randomly and have these types of stories.

If you say you don’t, you just haven’t spent time thinking about it. You don’t want to live with your foot in the past, but knowing and, if you’re comfortable with it, acknowledging those who have helped you along your path, especially people you met by chance, makes a difference in both of your lives.

I feel lucky enough to have a number of these stories in both my personal and professional lives. For instance, I came to my firm, Jaburg Wilk, through an attorney there I had randomly come into contact with at the beginning of my career and by then I knew a bit as a professional connection. The interesting part is that through that same person I had the opportunity to come work at Jaburg Wilk in a few years earlier, but turned it down to go to work at a large local firm. When I ultimately came to the firm it was the right time for me to do so and happened because of me randomly running into that same connection at a professional event.

The point is that you never know what a chance meeting, interview, or connection may lead to in the future. When I came back around, I was lucky enough that the firm still was willing to speak with me. Luckily my longtime connection who worked there was open to speaking with me about a position and to talking to his partners about interviewing me again.

You have no way of knowing who you meet that may be important in your life. No matter what side of the relationship I am on, the connection may ultimately be beneficial for me. It may be a situation where I give 10 minutes to someone I am informally mentoring. You will find that if you treat people kindly, with respect, and give them your most valuable resource, your time, there is a better chance that if they are related to a potential opportunity, it will be visited upon you.