Almost nobody hears too many sincere compliments. We’re all walking around with positive thoughts about colleagues, clients, and people in our professional circles, but we keep most of them to ourselves. It’s as if there’s some invisible force field that stops us from just saying what we’re thinking when we appreciate someone.
The solution is simple. Compliment people to their face, and then compliment them behind their back. When you think something nice about someone’s work, their judgment, or just their presence, say it right then. “It’s always fun to see you” or “You handled that situation really well” or “I trust your instincts on this”—these aren’t grand gestures, just honest observations spoken aloud. The key is treating these statements as casually as commenting on the weather.
What happens when you do this consistently is interesting. People remember the direct compliments, of course, but the ones you give behind their backs come back around in ways that build real trust. Someone hears that you praised their work when they weren’t in the room, and suddenly they know your appreciation is genuine rather than performative. This creates a completely different dynamic than the typical professional environment where people can be careful, measured, and withholding.
We underestimate how much people need to hear that they’re valued, that their work matters, that someone notices what they contribute. The legal and business world can be a grinding place where feedback is mostly about what needs fixing. Being the person who also points out what’s working, who acknowledges effort and skill and character, doesn’t cost you anything. It just makes everything better for everyone involved, including you.
