BusinessLawGuy's Blog

This past weekend I was reading something and saw the phrase “be the change you want to see.” I’ve heard it before and have written about the benefits of change. That day it struck me as I believe change and trying new things is the road to success in business, as well as in life and happiness.

When days are like being on a treadmill, life is monotonous. Maybe it struck me because I’m in the middle of a two-week long arbitration hearing and in many ways the days are like being on a treadmill. On this occasion it read to me as a manifesto saying to take action and therefore control of your own narrative.

In looking into and thinking about the benefits of change, I found and remembered that this saying is part of a quote from Ghandi, which says, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world also change.” His point is obvious: if you change what you’re doing the options and potential results change as opposed as waiting for others to change or, in most people’s thinking, for the others to magically help us.

An example is waiting and thinking you will happen to meet people who are beneficial to your business instead of having a plan to meet people and asking those who know you well to connect you with others. In that case the change is taking action instead of waiting for things to “happen” to or for you. The point is to change and take action now instead of waiting to see what others do (or don’t do). Be clear, this is a personal call to action that you alone are in control of.

We all have heard the stories of entrepreneurs who had many failures before hitting it big. When you implement change, you will fail many times. Think of it like a mailing campaign where success may be having a 5% response rate. For me that means that a high percentage of the people I connect or am connected with will not lead to new or increased business. If this sounds bad to you note that it’s reality because not every change or new action you take will be a homerun. Plus, the person you meet for lunch may end up referring you a great customer a year later based on that one meeting. You really never know.

None of this happens if you don’t change and try new things. You need to take the first step to create change, whether in relation to your work, to self improvement, or improving your community, such as volunteering or joining non-profit board. Once you start, others will take note and have the opportunity to join in, thereby providing a better opportunity for the change you’ve implemented to succeed. Even if you fail, you will learn, which improves your chances for success in the future.

Think of the change you want to see in your world and the world at large. Then set goals and analyze the steps to get there, which will lead you to the actions necessary to bring the change you seek. Don’t let the challenge to change hold you back. As the saying goes, the first step is the hardest. Challenges you have no control over always will come up as part of life, but by effecting change in yourself and through your actions you’re doing more than sitting by and waiting for things to happen or work out. You control the change you want to see and you should start now.

You grow or stay stagnant. My point is that you either are taking action to improve yourself and your business or you are not. This is similar to being all talk and no action or not. Action matters and there is no time like the present to put yourself out there, meet people, and try to expand your network.

Another part of this is continually assessing whether whatever you’re doing is achieving your desired results. This informs what actions you continue to do, abandon, or change. By doing this, it has helped me utilize my time better and with much better results.

If all I can do is write about what to do, but not do it, that is to my detriment. I like writing about networking and similar topics, which is why you are reading this today, but my goal is not to be a writer. I want to be known as an attorney who is constantly trying to expand his network and develop meaningful relationships with the people I deal with. By doing so I have better control over my professional path and create opportunities for me and those with whom I’m connected.

One of the things I like best about what I do is meeting and working with all different types of people including other attorneys (really), accountants and other professionals, business owners, and many others. The diversity in the people I deal with keeps me engaged, interested, and energized to keep networking. It keeps me trying new things in my effort to expand my network and develop interesting work for me and my colleagues. I always say if we were all the same the world would be a boring place, which I truly believe. Those differences are the fabric of the world.

So are you working meet people and expand your possibilities or staying stagnant? You either are improving yourself or not. If you do not do so you are destined to stay in place and the life of the worker bee, which is not necessarily a bad place to be. But if you want be climbing higher with larger goals, no matter if it is in your profession, your company, or your industry, start by expanding your network and see where it can take you.

Management is about execution. More specifically, management is about executing the visions of your company’s leadership. Managers work in the present while leaders work in the future. The point is that managers of people need to focus on how to get the people they manage to execute now. Like many roles, there are any number of ways to manage people.

Some people micromanage their teams because they have the need to control what their subordinates or employees do or don’t trust their team members to execute on their own. There can be good reasons or at least what feel like good reasons to do so. For instance, many managers argue that the end product is going out under the manager’s name or the name of the company and it’s up to them to make sure it’s as good as can be. Those types of managers have a blind spot and don’t realize that having control of the end product or goal is different than micromanaging the process to reach that end product or goal.

I think a better way to manage is to guide your team while giving them the freedom and flexibility to work towards the end goal. A manager may think he or she has the best way to manufacture the widget or is a better writer than whoever is drafting something that will go out under their name. But if you train your people well and then let them control the process, amazing things can happen. George S. Patton once said “If you tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you’ll be amazed at the results.” This is how products or processes are improved because innovation happens when people have a starting point and an ending point, as well as the opportunity to think outside of the box. It also provides great teaching moments for managers and their team.

In my world this means letting a younger attorney on my team lead a case or write the first draft of a pleading or document. In doing so, it doesn’t mean I have no say on what the plan or end product will be, but I trust that once I provide the big picture, what we’re dealing with, and where we need to go that my team members can choose the path to get there. I regularly am intrigued and amazed at the ideas people come up with and use that I wouldn’t have thought of that result in work that reflects well on me and the entire team. Giving team members ownership in the process is a positive for everyone.

I challenge you to think about all of this the next time you want to tell someone you manage exactly how to do what you’re asking them to do. Try telling them what you need and let them choose the path. You likely will get the same end result as if you micromanaged them and probably will be surprised by how they got there. Either way you get what you need, but one path leave the door open for innovation and positive feelings for your team members who know you trust them to do their job.

We all have stress. I picture an empty room where challenges keep coming at me from straight in front of me, the top left corner, the middle right corner, or wherever. Well, you get the idea. The point is that challenges keep coming at us from all angles as if we are in a video game trying to move forward. Some challenges are exciting and invigorating while others are hard and stressful. They never stop, nor does the need to manage the daily and regular stress of dealing with these challenges.

Many times this is easier said than done. When I speak with people about their business, I usually hear how well things are going and how great everything is. Many times what I am hearing is true. Other times, further into the conversation, I learn the truth, which is, whether or not things are going well, the person is under incredible stress.

In my world it could be the closing date for a large transaction with many moving parts and participants where things aren’t pinned down to the last possible moment. Or maybe it’s preparing to go into trial for two weeks knowing all the other work for other clients really doesn’t stop during that time. I heard one person years ago refer to it as juggling cats. It certainly feels that way in the moment.

Learning methods to cope with the large amount of stress that weighs you down in such moments is a gift to yourself, as well as an ongoing process throughout life. It is impossible to be stress free all the time, but living in constant state of stress is unhealthy. By finding coping mechanisms you can manage stress better than just trying to ignore the fact it’s there. By the way, everyone around you knows when you’re in it even if you think you’re acting cool, calm, and collected. From body language to voice there are many tells when someone is in a high stress moment.

So what do you do to try and control your stress? If something doesn’t come to mind immediately, you need to find something. For me, it’s meditation and exercise including hiking. For others I know, it’s cooking, playing music, golfing, etc. It’s up to you to find what activities help you manage your stress on a regular basis. Whatever it is should one or more things you incorporate in to your regular routines. By doing so, whether your stress level is high, low, or somewhere in-between, you will be able to better manage it.

All of this will lead you to help yourself find a healthier lifestyle, in both your mental and physical health, because stress negatively affects you mentally and physically. Think about your interests outside of work. Whatever it is it should be an activity you enjoy, which should go without saying, and that helps you relax. Then take small steps such as doing it regularly for a month and then another and so on. Then look back with an honest eye as to how you have been dealing with stress and how you feel. My bet is that you will be in a better place.

During the first decade of my career I mainly had one main formal mentor and a number of informal mentors. Most of my mentors were attorneys or judges, which makes sense given my chosen profession. Others were in different professions or businesses. The string running through all of those relationships was the professional and life lessons I learned from each one, many of which I follow to this day.

In one case with someone I considered to be an informal mentor, I’m sure the other person didn’t know I considered him to be a mentor. I never said anything because it seemed clear to me he wouldn’t have been comfortable formalizing our relationship in that manner. In hindsight I’m not sure I was right or not never saying anything, but I still look to and live by things I learned from that person.

I actually ran into him in the past year for the first time in a long time and when I mentioned to him something I learned from him that I still thought about many years later he didn’t recall the thought or conversation other than thinking it was something he would have said and that he still thought it was true. This brought home that sometimes the impact of a statement or conversation affects or impacts one of the parties more or differently than the other and that’s okay. It’s like The Rolling Stones said, “sometimes you get what you need” as I did from that long ago conversation.

The point is that whether a person is a formal mentor to you or you just consider them to be someone you trust and learn from, it’s an important relationship. Most of us have a few formal or informal mentors over time. If you think about who helped you along the way it becomes a bit more clear. What you learned may have related to your professional life, general life issues, or both. Either way, the importance of a having one or more good mentors over time can’t be ignored.

The basis of any mentor mentee relationship is support and trust. It is an exercise in listening for the mentor because a mentor is more of a facilitator or guide, not simply an instructor. But that doesn’t mean the mentor isn’t benefitting from the relationship. This type of relationship helps both parties. I find it helps self-awareness and understanding of my and the other person’s strengths and weaknesses. By participating in such a relationship, you evolve in many ways even when it’s an informal mentoring relationship and the “mentor” may not realize the role they are playing in your life.

Depending on where you are professionally or in life, think about the relationships you have in which, whether formal or unsaid, you’re in the role of mentor or mentee. If you don’t have such a relationship, seek one out now. It will help you grow as a person and, whether you are the mentor or mentee, allow you to play an important role in another’s story. These are the types of relationships that make life so rich.

Success comes from constantly assessing the results from actions you take and adjusting depending on what is working or not. If something you’re doing is not successful, you’ve got to change it or try something new. The funny thing is that the flip side is the same: if something you’re doing is successful it helps to tweak or change it to see if it can be even more successful.

Trying something new is good for you. You can work on how you generate or create business, how you organize your workspace, or you can stop at the corner coffee shop in the morning and meet your neighbors, other professionals and business owners who stopped in for a drink or snack.

Going back to your actions that are not successful or if you’re on a bad streak, the problem is you. But this isn’t what you may be thinking. Odds are you are stuck in routine and probably just doing the things that used to work for you. Every day is a new world with options for you to change something. If you don’t, you will live the Groundhog’s Day scenario of the same actions getting the same results.

One idea is to connect and reconnect with people. I know some people may be rolling their eyes because they prefer to connect electronically with little or no actual human interaction. Know that life previously required you to meet and interact with others to create success and doing so still drives business because of the connections we forge with others.

Make a list and call someone from that list each morning. If you want to dip your toe in, you can do so in three to five minutes a day. Choose someone you know and haven’t spoken to in while and call them just to say “hi” and that you are thinking of them. You can keep the call short by telling them that, your time that morning is limited, and that you would like to meet them for coffee or something similar. That personal touch means something and actually means everything.

If that doesn’t sound like your gig, come up with something else to try and do it regularly to see if it works. And then, whether or not it works, tweak or change it to see if you can make it work or make it work better.

Don’t let the success or lack of success of what you’re doing be stagnant. Change things up. Interact with people. Take action. These are other ways in which to invest in yourself.

You may not think it but it’s good to be the dumbest person in the room, knowing it, and acknowledging it to others when you want to learn. This allows you an opportunity to learn that otherwise would be lost. The room may be full of people or just one other person. The point is all of us can learn no matter whether you view yourself as a leader or not.

By the way, you know we all are leaders. You may have heard a saying similar to leading up and down. We all have a role to play and you can learn from anyone within the business or other groups you’re a part of.

Whoever you picture as being incredibly smart finds themselves in a room where they’re not the smartest. It says something about that person if they are comfortable admitting that and looking for an opportunity to learn or not.

Note that the person you learn from may be younger or older. Everyone has something to share or that they know and understand better than you do.

I recently dealt with a situation in which I was combing through social media platforms in relation to a person misrepresenting themselves in negative way that affected my client. I know and use a number of these platforms, but I was trying to search and use one I really haven’t used and don’t know. I went to a much younger co-worker who not only helped me but took the time to show me what she was doing. I clearly was the dumbest person in that room on the topic at hand. By allowing her to show and teach me I learned information that may be useful to me in the future and allowed me to help my client at that time.

Another thing people do is act like they know about things they don’t. It’s the “fake it ’til you make it” situation. I guess it can work until it doesn’t and whoever you’re speaking with realizes you are not speaking truth. Acting like you know what you don’t is a losing proposition. It prevents you from actually learning about something you want or need to know and puts you in the vulnerable place of potentially being found out being untruthful. Why would you do that to yourself?

Knowledge is power. None of us have all the knowledge we need. Being open to learning in all situations leads to positive experiences and personal growth. The next time someone asks you if you know about a topic you really don’t, tell them that and ask them what you need to know. It will turn into a positive experience for both of you.

Recently I was speaking with a young attorney who was lamenting the workload and hours the partners at his firm expected of him and talking about his time at night and on the weekends being his time, not theirs. This struck me because when I was a young attorney I expected to work hard and do whatever was asked of me as I learned a profession. I think that attitude and hard work taught me the profession of law and was part of the road to any professional success i have had. The point is I didn’t expect the it to be easy or to just fall backwards into success; I expected to put in time and energy investing in my potential future success.

When people see someone achieve success it may seem like it was overnight or not too hard. If that’s you, know there is no such thing as instant success or success without putting in hard work. If you’re not willing to do it, others will and they will achieve more than you and be promoted past you even when you have more experience. You’ll be left to wonder why and how it happened. If you’re good with that then keep on doing what you’re doing. If not, maybe you need to decide what it’s worth to you to do more. There is no shame in either path. It’s your choice to make.

If these thoughts sounds harsh, they are. As the title says, life isn’t easy. The road to success is paved with all types of impediments. Only you can choose which road to take when opportunity presents itself. Really, I’m talking about investing in yourself and making the choices that will give you the chance for success because working hard gives you the opportunity but not the guaranty of success. The reality check is that if you don’t work hard you definitely have no real chance for success.

I know some people may be thinking that their vision of success and mine differ greatly. Maybe or maybe not. My vision of success is doing a good job for whoever you work for, whether your employer or its clients or customers, to be able to earn a fair living that allows you to a decent lifestyle in the time you do spend away from work. There is a lot of room in that for all different types and levels of success.

The fact is life is a lot of ups and downs personally and professionally. Challenges come from every corner all the time. How you approach these challenges is up to you. Accepting that life is hard allows you to acknowledge there only is so much you can control and that includes your attitude, your mood, your reaction to and energy put towards those challenges, and what you’re willing to do to reach your version of success. So what are you willing to do to invest in yourself and your potential success?

Each of us is a part of group in relation to our work. You’re part of the company where you work, but probably also are part of smaller formal groups comprised of you and co-workers, as well as part of other professional, industry, or similar groups outside of your company. In every group there is a dynamic of those who speak and those who generally don’t. There also is a dynamic of those who interrupt or ignore those patiently and quietly waiting to speak. This usually leads to the same person or people driving the discussion and the decisions made by the group. This isn’t necessarily bad, but it can lead to a loss of potential ideas for the group to consider on a given topic or issue.

My experience in groups is that there usually are three types of participants. The first is the type who is or fancies themselves to be a leader with good ideas who always speaks up and offers their ideas and opinions. The second is the type who speaks up on topics they know about or which are important to them. The third is the type who is not comfortable speaking in a group setting even when they have a good idea or thought to add to a discussion. These diverse personalities each bring something to the table.

I want to focus on the third group. These people don’t speak often, but when they do it generally is something important to the conversation. The may raise their hand instead of just speaking out for fear of feeling like they’re butting in or speaking over someone else. In the best case they’re called on and share their thoughts. In the worst case those comfortable speaking up don’t notice or ignore the hand in the air so they can make their point. This may result in the person with the hand raised getting tired of waiting or the meeting ending with either of those situations resulting in them not having an opportunity to speak and add to the conversation.

I recently read somewhere that “sometimes people who don’t speak have the most to say.” This struck me as I thought about the number of groups I participate in at my firm and in professional and non-profit settings. The group dynamic. The three types of participants in groups. The important thoughts or opinions lost when the quieter members of a group doesn’t or isn’t able to speak up or have a turn.

Whether you’re a leader or a participant in a group it’s important to make sure all voices are heard. Focus on making sure those who raise their hand are called on to share. If it’s someone who doesn’t even raise their hand, call on them to participate and share their thoughts. The worst that can happen is they say their have nothing to add to the conversation. On the other hand, the best that can happen is an idea that hasn’t been mentioned is not lost.

If I make a misrepresentation to a client, opposing counsel, or a judge the reputation I have worked to build for years will be ruined in an instant. The same is true for you if you lie to people you do business with. Once you are caught in a lie, all of your truths become questionable.

Early in my career I heard an experienced attorney say “a half-truth equals a whole lie.” This is simple and there are no exceptions. Anything not one-hundred percent true is a lie. And note that it’s far easier to remember the truth than a lie.

Of course, at times, we all soften the truth to try not to hurt someone’s feelings. That is because some situations are more nuanced than others. I am not speaking to that type of situation. I’m speaking about your general day-to-day professional life in which your reputation is at stake.

You need to understand that honesty is part of your reputation. You may not be called out or caught every time you aren’t honest, but if it catches up to you it won’t be pretty. You will lose relationships or opportunities potentially including your then current employment. You will lose opportunities that will upset you. You also will lose opportunities you don’t even know you lost because they just don’t come your way as a result of your diminished reputation.

Trust is like your reputation in that it’s earned. The real difference is that people will assume you’re honest unless or until they believe you aren’t. If they think or hear you’re not, the chances of convincing them otherwise are slim.

It follows that once trust is lost it will either take longer than you want to imagine to earn it back if it even can be earned back. People you have professional relationships with may still deal with you (mainly if they have to, such as in the workplace), but it won’t be the same. Even if it feels like it, a lack of trust permeates relationships far into the future.

The old saying “think before you speak” is on point. Lying is a (bad) choice. whether you can call it embellishment or something similar, others will think you stretch the truth and not know what to believe. In all situations, lying makes the road forward in your career harder. On the other hand, telling the truth helps to build your reputation and creates the goodwill that makes people want to know and work with you.