Posts tagged - texting

Are you all in?

Posted on: April 06, 2016, in: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

We all know the saying “You are either all in or all out.” The meaning of this phrase is obvious, but when you think about it, it applies to all situations in business  or your personal life.

In your personal life, if you spend your time with your kids or significant other connected to a device, email, etc. they will know they don’t have your full attention, which means you are not all in. That email can wait when it comes to your time with your kids or significant other, can’t it? If not, you are better off explaining to them you have to work than letting them sit there assuming they are not your priority. Think about how you feel if your significant other is constantly on their phone or the Internet. Or , if you have teenagers, it is likely you know this feeling well.

Similarly, in business, if you are not all in, you are all out. You cannot kind of do something and be successful. You may not work as hard as you could have and get lucky by landing an account or client, but that is the exception, not the rule. If you don’t give it your all on a report for a supervisor and they know your usual level  of work product when you do give it your all, they will know. The inverse of this is that people you work with or for know when you give it your all. Of course, this comes from more than a report or work product, and includes your direct dealings with them in person, by phone or otherwise. Don’t you want people you work for or with to think you are all in?

If not, you should be questioning if you are in the right field or profession. It could be that something in your personal life is affecting you in your work or vice-versa. If so, you should meet issues and challenges head on because if not, nothing will change, and it could ruin relationships, your career or more.

So, are you all in?

No Comments

Don’t Let Your Communication be an Illusion; Communicate to be Understood!

Posted on: December 03, 2015, in: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Communication is a singular important matter in all contacts between people. But it does not always happen in a way leading to understanding on the same level between the participants in the conversation. This is high-lighted by a quote that I like:

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place – George Bernard Shaw

Do the people you communicate with understand what you are trying to convey? If you think so, how do you know? Odds are the communications are not as clear as you think.

That is because it takes more than just you speaking. It also takes the other person listening fully. And it takes the other person understanding what you said.

Think about yourself. When someone is speaking with you, are you listening or thinking about what you are going to say next. If you are thinking about what to say next, you are not listening fully. If so, it is likely you will miss something the other person wants you to know and understand.

Listening fully is challenging whether in person or on the phone. In person you may be able to tell someone is not understanding or listening to you based on their responses (or lack of responses!) and body language. How can you tell on the phone? Maybe by the response. Or do you hear typing or mouse clicks, signaling the person on the other end of the line is focused on something on their computer, not what you are saying.

So actual communication where both people listen and understand each other is hard. This is true in business and at home. You can ask questions to make sure the other person understands what you are saying. Or at home, you can ask your child to stop texting while the two of you talk! And, you should look at how you listen in live conversations or over the phone to make sure you are not missing anything.

No Comments

Why you shouldn’t put your cell phone on the table at lunch or let it kill your creativity!

Posted on: December 04, 2014, in: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Putting your phone on the table at a meal sends the wrong message whether you are dining with someone you are looking to connect or network with, or when you are with your spouse or kids. It is the equivalent of telling whoever you are with that the people who text, email or call you are potentially and likely more important than they are.  If not, why would you leave open the possibility of having your phone interrupt the conversation and meal?

And yes, I acknowledge that phones and other devices have most of us hooked. We all are addicts. You know the feeling or thought: “Yes, I just checked for new emails and texts two minutes ago, but I may have missed one…I just can’t help myself.”

It really is all of us just filling any empty time by checking our phones or other devices. In the past we would have had to do things such as think, daydream, or stare out of the car window.  Now, I have a child who is a teen and barely knows directions because his face is buried in his phone anytime he is in a car.  Observing teens and their friends leads to the conclusion that they do not know how to enjoy a moment of quiet.

I have read what others think we should do. Don’t bring your phone into a business meeting. Turn off your phone at night. Makes rules about its use at the dinner table. Don’t check work email after a certain time. Great ideas, but hard to actually do.

That is why I am trying to follow my new, self-instituted rule of not placing my phone on the table when I am dining with someone.  It may seem like a small step, but you have to start somewhere.  And as a big believer in paying attention to those you are dining with, it definitely makes sense.

If any of you have ideas or rules that work and result in better face to face communication in your offices or homes, I would like to hear about them.

 

No Comments

Good Communication Must be Lucid, Cogent, Succinct, Interesting, Informative, and Convincing

Posted on: September 13, 2013, in: , , , , , , , , ,

Those are a lot of five star words I read in an interview answer United States Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy gave when asked what qualities he admires in the briefs presented to his court. I think what he said has broader application in our daily lives, both professional and personal. Whether you are writing, on the phone, meeting with someone or a group, giving presentation, etc. you need to think about your audience and the result you are seeking.

It takes work to be clear, logical, and short (my three star understandable translation of Justice Kennedy’s words), let alone interesting, informative and convincing. This does not mean practice and plan every communication because thinking on your feet is another important skill to have and some communications need to and are meant to be spontaneous. It means know your audience and the context of your communication.

For example, if you are negotiating anything (we all negotiate in all aspects of our lives daily! You do….think about it), and here I am specifically thinking in our business or professional roles, do you have a strategy going in? If you don’t, you likely will not get to the result you seek or accept a result that would have been unacceptable to you going in. How you prepare is up to you and should be based on the context and type of communication. Negotiating a lower price for a curio on vacation is different than negotiating a business contract is different than negotiating settlement of a lawsuit.

In my world this mostly means dealing with clients, other attorneys and courts. What it means to you is relative to where you sit. And, again, the context of the communication. And it includes tweets and Facebook posts for business related accounts, and most certainly texts and email.

It goes back to something many of us have heard our entire lives: think before you speak (or in this case, before you write/type/tweet…or maybe blog).

If you have any thoughts or want to add to this conversation, please feel free to email me, text me, tweet me, message me on LinkedIn, comment here, call me or stop me in the hall!

No Comments